What I Wish Present me could Tell Past me about In-Between Me (or, What I Learned During my First Year of Marriage)

         As a bride to be, I could often be found gazing dreamily into the distance, imagining just how perfect my life would be "once we were married."

• Once we were married, I would be happier. 
• Once we were married, I would  be with my husband ALL THE TIME! (this seemed like HEAVEN at the time)
• Once we were married, I would be busy in the kitchen preparing dinner. He would walk in from work, rush to my side, and tell me how glad he was to be home, how much he loved me. Birds would sing. The sun would shine. The house would be immaculate. 
• Once we were married, life would be perfect. 

Boy, was I wrong. Now, don't misunderstand me. I have LOVED spending the last year getting to know my husband. We have laughed together (and, let's face it, occasionally AT each other), shared inside jokes, cooked together, spent time being lazy together, and simply enjoyed each other's company. But, dear reader,  life has been faaaaaaaar from perfect.

And so, I began thinking. What do I wish I would have known before we tied the knot? If I could travel back in time, what would present me tell past me that would help in-between me?

This is the list, in no particular order, of what I learned during my first year+ of marriage. The list of things I wish I could email to past me.

1. He's not going to talk your ear off every evening. In fact, some evenings, he will barely speak at all. This is OK. You already knew this about him. Find another way to deal with your need for communication. You will learn to appreciate his quite spirit. This aspect of his personality makes him an EXCELLENT listener.

2. He will patiently listen to all of your complaints. He will let you cry on his shoulder when you've had a rough day. He will not try to fix it. He will just be there. You will love this about him.

3. He will fix your flat tire at 9 o'clock at night. Even though he's worked all day and is tired. Even though he's had back pain for the past week. He will do it without complaining. Be kind to him. Watch how your words sound. Think before you speak.

4. You will not fall asleep together every night. You're two different people. You have different habits, different schedules, and different internal clocks. This does't mean that he doesn't love you. This doesn't mean that he doesn't want to spend time with you. It simply means that he's not sleepy! Put your big girl panties on and deal with it!

5. He is not a mind reader. If you need something, ask for it. You don't think less of anyone else when you have to ask them for help/things. Why should it be any different?

6. Having to ask for what you need does not, I repeat, DOES NOT in any way lessen the giving of it.

7. Sometimes you will just need a hug from him to make everything all better. Refer to numbers five and six.

8. Do not listen to the lies of the enemy. Learn to recognize what thoughts are not your own. Over-thinking will be the cause of 90% of your problems.

9. You are not "just" a glorified housekeeper. You are not "just" his personal chef. You are not "just" his maid. You are his wife. He loves you. He chose YOU! Never forget that. If you start thinking otherwise, see number eight.

10. You will adopt two awesome kittens together. They will destroy things. They will cause messes. They will steal your heart.

11. He will love the kittens.

12. You will love that he loves the kittens as much as you do.

13. It's OK to spend time apart. It's healthy to spend time apart. You will want to spend time apart.

14. Take time for yourself. Do what you enjoy. Let him do the same.

15. He will not make you happy. It's not his job. Find your happiness in Christ.

16. He will not rush to your side the second he comes home from work. He needs time to chill. Go to him. Hug him. Tell him you're glad he's home. Then give him some space. You'll both be happier.

17. Your house is never going to be immaculate. See number ten.

18. The laundry is never going to be "done" again.

19. There will always be pee on the bathroom floor in the middle of the night. Learn to avoid it or clean it up yourself.

20. Life will NOT be perfect. It will be messy. It will be hard. It will make you cry, scream, and want to pull your hair out. But it will be good. It will be blessed. And you will be glad you chose this life with him.

P.S. He will cheat at Words with Friends. You will have no proof. But you will suspect it with every fiber of your being. ECHE? How is that even a word???